It's Been Awhile Part II

First off, let me preface, by saying this...You know the seasons are starting to change and get colder when you run outside to take a quick crap and while you're running for home base, because you're cold, your butt is still steaming! I think I grossed Mom out with the fumes. Muahaha!

So I believe I left off talking about the beach on the last post. This summer was hot. And not just hot but HOT My insulation was not serving me well! So in between trips to the coast, we discovered a nice little hidey hole on the Washougal River that wasn't too overly populated by fluroscent white teenagers. I need to buy a pair of shades while I'm around Tadd, I don't want to be blinded anymore than that! Now I'm a big fan of swimming. Because I know how to swim. Apparently humans DON'T. They do weird things on the backs, they go under water, they lift their arms over their heads. I don't know what the heck they're doing. So Ian and Tadd needed a lot of saving this past summer. The womanslave, aka Mom, was smart enough to stay in the shallows because she's aware she doesn't know how to swim. However, she's pretty mean.
She got this notion in her head to hold my waist and make me swim even more so I could lose some weight. There's nothing wrong with my figure! Round is a shape thank you very much.

Does this bod look like it needs any more excercise to you? I get plenty of it. I work my abdominals all the time laying on the couch. They positioned it at an angle you know. I gotta work to keep from falling into it. I do all my weightlifting carrying sticks. It shows.

Here I am, rescuing that jackass again. And here he is, copping a free ride from me. I work my ass off to save these people, and what kind of thanks do I get? They cull my scraps! Can you believe that? That's one of the things they did to me over this summer. I am only on that gross dry dog food. They try to convince me that it tastes great, Tadd even eats it in front of me! I'm not falling for it though.


I DID get a reprieve from the nasty dry dog food though. Lacey came for a visit! I love Lacey, she feeds me scraps! Also because she came up we got to go to the coast and camp for a night again. And this time I wasn't sore from than danged Saddle Mountain hike either, so I actually got to enjoy running on the beach instead of feeling like a creaky old man. I was feeling so good, in fact, that I learned how to body surf! Man I love the waves.

We didn't do too many big trips after that. My womanslave started working some boku overtime hours. Funny. She's working all these extra hours, yet I don't see any gourmet food in my plate. Hmph. I'm going to have to give her whatfor about that. And then....

My life came to an end.

I don't think I remembered to post this in the last update, but right after the trip from hell to get to this place, two out of the three members of my harem were sadly lost. Patch and Circe went out and never came back. We think we've spotted Patch a couple of times in the neighborhood across the street but he hasn't come back yet. Three months later they came home with THIS:

Of all the holy horrors WHY???? This thing is like Patch reincarnated! Didn't I suffer enough during Patch's childhood? He bit my wiener, tore all of my nipples off, and made my muzzle go bald by yanking my hairs out one by one. Now my muzzle is gray because of him, and I look like an old man! To make things worse, this...THING thinks I'm her momma and spends all night, every night suckling on my fat rolls. AND she gave me fleas. Dammit all to hell. I mean look at what she does to the senior and sole remaining member of my harem, Fatso:

Of all the freaking nerve. Fatso didn't even come out of hiding for over a week. And then the THING they named Spud Savage flushed her out of Ian's room. And now we must all suffer the wrath of the THING. God save us all. If I don't ever post to this blog again...you'll know what happened.